I’m going to talk psychology for a second, so bear with me on this one. I’m sure everyone has read about Carl Jung’s concept of our Shadow selves in psychology 101. (Sure you have, just dust off that long forgot knowledge from your first or second year of college.) For those of you who don’t remember, Jung said that part of our unconscious mind was a repressed section called our “shadow aspects.” I can hear you know, and no, this isn’t going to get into asking you about your mother.
Our shadow selves represents our shortcomings and weakness, and is most often seen when we are simply exhausted or overly stressed. It is the part of us that turns the little tiny thing into the huge inferiority that we can’t seem to get over. It shows up in dreams, as our unconscious mind processes through things. However, Jung also said that “in spite of its function as a reservoir for human darkness—or perhaps because of this—the shadow is the seat of creativity.” You know, the whole, art is pain argument. How can you sing the blues if nothing bad has ever happened to you? That old chestnut. (Here endeth the lesson…)
Well, I’m not here to dwell on Jung’s concept of shadow self, but more of my own.
Instead, I’m interested in the person that we are when we are by ourselves. Being in your thirties is a life that is filled with constant responsibility. Be it work, significant others, children, whatever, the responsibility is always there. When we are left by ourselves for an extended period of time, how do we act? That’s a pretty legitamite question, and I wonder how many of you could answer it honestly.
I’ve been married now for over seven year, and have two young children (under the ages of five). It is a rare opportunity to have a great deal of time by myself. However, I have been a “bachelor” now for six days, and it’s been interesting. My wife and kids have gone on an extended trip to visit family, and I’ve stayed behind to work. Now, at work, it’s pretty determined how I will act, but it’s during the down time that I’ve been studying.
Now, some of you might say, “if I were in your situation, I would live it up like I was single again. It’s be college all over.” That sounds great in theory, but when it happens, we quickly remember that we’re not that young anymore. No, no, my experience has been a fairly interesting tell on who I am when people aren’t watching.
What have I done with all this time? The answer is simple: I’ve watched movies and slept. That’s right, I’ve watched movies and slept. To be more specific, I’ve watched around 15 movies so far, and have a few more before it’s all said in done. The truth is, I had about a 72 hour period when I didn’t even leave my house. That’s right, I was a “bachelor” and I didn’t even leave my house.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done several things with friends, including dinner and poker. But, I didn’t try to relive college, or any other wild time in my life. And that’s my point! There’s something about being in our thirties that when we are left to our own devices that are the wild and crazy. Don’t get me wrong, we can all have a wild time on occasion, but it’s usually planned out with a little bit of down time for recovery.
The fact of the matter is, we’re all a little boring.
The truth of that statement should set you free. We don’t have to worry about doing anything impressive (translation: stupid). We can simply do whatever it is that we are interested in. If you get the chance, see what it is that you would do. I know that some will party, some will read, some will watch movies, and others will find different things to fill their time. However, it’s just freeing knowing that we don’t have to live an exciting, jet setting life style.
So, thirty-somethings, find some time to yourself, and see what you would do. I would be interested to hear the stories. If you have one, leave it in the comment section. Until next time, dear reader, stay true to yourself (even if that means being boring)…
