Have you ever said something you regret?

Sure you have, we all do at some point.  Often times, it’s said in the heat of the moment and tempers are flaring.  At other times, it cold an calculating, but feels a little too planned after the words have left our mouth.  And, as some many college students can attest, sometimes it just slips out in a drunken rampage.  No matter the how, it always seems like afterwords, we wish we wouldn’t have ever said it.

As a thirty-something, I’ve had plenty of times in my life when I have done those, and one time, I might have done all three at once.  All of us do dumb things, it’s just part of the “growth” experience.  I can know say, thanks to my wife and ample opportunity to learn from mistakes, that I have developed a filter.  It may not work all of the time, but most of the time it does.

Let’s face it, without that filter, more of us would be fired from jobs on a regular basis and our circle of friends might not be as big as it currently is.  Like I said, it doesn’t work all the time, but even Superman has a weakness in kryptonite.  Mine, much like college students, is booze.

Strangely, I’m not here to talk about drunk dialing, but instead, to talk about when your words come back to haunt you in a more innocentdelivery method:  your kids.  That’s right, these sweet bundles of joy that start of relying on your for everything and listen to your every word turn on you.

Now, they don’t mean to do it.  I mean, after all, they are our kids, and I’m pretty sure we’ve all done the same thing to our parents.  I have two 4 year olds, and there is never a time when it seems that people aren’t talking.  There are lots of jokes, arguments, laughing, crying, screaming, and just plain talking.  Often times, it all happens at the same time.

(Un)Fortunately, I learned early on that my kids were sponges to my words.  Let me start this example by saying that the phrase “damn it” is a right of passage for the males in my family.  It was for my father, grandfather, and I’m pretty sure great grandfather as well.  It’s not so much cursing, as much as it is a family motto or battle cry.

So, one night before going  to a church function, I was setting up some electronics.  It was a tight space and there around 1000 wires to be dealt with.  Since I was shoved into this tiny space, I didn’t see my son, 2 years old at the time, standing behind me.  Since it is a family battle cry, I let a couple of damn its slip while engaged in electronic combat.  By the time I finished and was getting ready to put everyone in the car, my son was running around the house yelling “damn it” at the top of this lungs.

At first glance, there is something funny about seeing a 2 year old do this, but then two truths sink in:  1.)  This is your kid and not some brat on TV; and 2.)  You’re about to go to church.  Trust me, nothing says, “hey pastor, why don’t you come have a ‘talk’ with our family like your kid running around the place cursing.  Needless to say, I went straight into reprogramming mode and got him to start repeating something more harmless.  It was close, but I did it.

Now, I wish the haunting started there, but it didn’t.  Instead, as my children go older, their minds became like steel traps.  I would hear them talking and use my same speech patterns and phrases.  Some of this is good (because who doesn’t want they’re kid telling them they’re awesome), and some is bad.  If I start lecturing one child, the other can start to chime in with my own speech.  (Which reminds me, I need to spend some time writing some more.)

I’ll tell them not to do things and they’ll rattle back, “because I said so.”  Like I need a reminder that I was becoming more like my parents.  Apparently, I have had the following conversation with my kids so many times that my daughter thinks that it’s part of the bedtime ritual:

Me:  What’s your job?
Daughter:  To go to sleep.
Me:  Are you going to get out of bed?
Daughter:  No.
Me:  What happens if you get out of bed?
Daughter:  You’ll take all of the toys out of my room, close my door, and I’ll cry.

Yep, a little bed time theatre for you.  Now, my daughter repeats that entire scene when I come in to kiss her goodnight.  I don’t even have to lecture.  By the way, just because she knows the script, doesn’t mean she follows it.

Now, I know that I’m not the only one.   My question to you, dear reader, is what are the haunting words that the kids in your life have reminded you of?  Is there a phrase, sentence, et ceterathat you regret ever saying?  Just leave them in the comments.

Until next time, dear reader, be careful what you say.  You never know who’s listening…